Monday, April 10, 2006

Without You Here, This House Was Not a Home

It's funny how time is just trucking right along now that Matt's home. I sent an email to his mom this morning commenting that if time had seemed to go by this quickly while he was away, the deployment would've been a breeze. Nonetheless, now that it's over, it kind of feels like the deployment was a breeze. Strange how in retrospect 14 months can seem so minor.

We've started making huge renovations to our home. I met up with one of my girlfriends for dinner after work on Thursday, and the whole time I was acting like I was sitting on tacks. Matt had called me earlier to inform me that the new couch had arrived and that it looked great - that seeing in the showroom didn't do it justice and I really had to see it in the living room, so I spent all of dinner glancing at my watch just dying to see the couch. I know, what a great friend I am, right? But the couch looks spectacular. It's microfiber (AKA faux-suede) so after spending God knows how long on that showroom floor and being shipped to us wrapped up tightly in plastic, sitting on it had about the same staticy effect rubbing a balloon might have, but it was nothing a Bounce sheet couldn't take care of!

On Friday when I got home from work, we had a new driveway (which I must admit puts every other driveway in our neighborhood to shame), and our fabulous new Crate and Barrel bedframe had arrived. I assembled the frame on Saturday (all by myself 'cause Matt was finishing up the driveway. I'm still quite proud of becoming Miss DIY during Matt's absence), and on Sunday we had our walkway torn up for MORE concrete work that will be done this Saturday. It's really nice to be changing our house. We're transforming the house into "married couple abode" and moving away from "broke college student bachelor pad" which it was before I moved in, and in a lot of ways I feel like we're depleting the house of the lonesome memories I have in it from the last year. It's not a bachelor pad anymore and it's not a house where a lonely fiance of a deployed soldier spends her nights worrying and waiting - it's OUR house now. It's our home. Before I moved in with Matt, I'd moved 8 different times within 2 years, and I haven't felt this settled and comfortable in a house since living with my parents in high school. Now we're just lacking wall decorations....

I'm still adjusting to having Matt home. He started work today and had to leave at 5:30 this morning (I typically wake up around 6:30) and I got a goodbye hug and kiss while I was groggy and only half awake so waking up alone was reminiscent of the hundreds of mornings I had to do it prior to today. I had to go outside and check to make sure that our yard was still under construction, check to make sure our new couch was still in place, just to be sure that Matt really HAD come home and I hadn't imagined the entire thing. I'm a little on edge, like if I get too relaxed, he'll magically disappear into thin air. It's amusing how the subconscious works, and I know I'll see him when I get home from work today, but every step toward our normal pre-deployment existence (like Matt starting work again today) is just another thing that takes readjustment and assurance that he's not going anywhere. In a lot of ways, it's like the healing of an open wound. Soon enough, though, I know I'll finally get it into my head that he's home for good! Now it's just a matter of getting the stitches removed. ;)

4 Comments:

Blogger Karen said...

I LOVE your new couch! We looked at one exactly like that for our basement family room! We still haven't had the guts to drop the money on it...maybe someday.

Your new bed frame is gorgeous too! You're right, it's starting to look like the home of a married couple. :) Doesn't it feel awesome!?

4/10/2006 6:27 PM

 
Blogger Courtney said...

That is awesome furniture, and I know I work at a furniture store. :) Anyway, I am glad your house is coming along so nicely. And holy cow your wedding is getting closer and closer. YAY!!!

4/10/2006 8:31 PM

 
Blogger tjsimpson said...

Aww, I cant wait until Trey and I are done with all our army crap and can move home and have a real house that is OURS.

Your furniture is so cute!!! I love it!

When Trey is deployed this next time, we're going to buy a house while he is gone and I'm looking at that as a good thing because with him gone, I can decorate the house and make it just as girly as I want and he cant say a single thing about it since he'll be gone. LOL.

4/12/2006 6:41 AM

 
Blogger ~*~ Deanne ~*~ said...

Hey girl... I just checked out your new blog. I saw the pics of your reunion with Matt when he returned and I just cried and cried! I can't believe in about a month (or a little longer, but no longer than a month and a half)... my love with finally be home too. His deployement will have lasted 16 LONG months. The kids and I are so anxious.... we just can't wait!!!!

I am so happy for you...

Thanks for adding me as one of your favorite blogs...

Talk to you soon.

Love ya,
Deanne

4/12/2006 3:40 PM

 

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